The mirroring principle has answers to your relationship challenges.

The mirroring principle has answers to your relationship challenges.

“Until you make the unconscious conscious,

it will direct your life, and you will call it fate.”

C.G. Jung

Have you found that no matter how close you want to be in your relationship, your partner prevents it by being "condescending," "critical," “irresponsible,” “distant,” or “rejecting.”

You try everything – speak nicely or do everything for them, but nothing seems to work to get both of you on the same wavelength.

I have an answer which might come as a surprise to you. YOU are part of the dynamic; YOU are partly creating this outcome in your relationship!

This answer may be a shock as you may have thought of yourself as the innocent party or a victim in the situation. Here is the reason why I say this.

Have you had a saying that we attract who we are?

This explanation has been the biggest revelation in my own life and what I have observed working with clients.

What it means is that we bring unconscious agreements on how to be treated in our relationships and these agreements get mirrored to us by our partners.

Often these unconscious agreements were made from early life experiences or past abusive relationships. Our brains are so impressionable and easily molded through experiences.

What it boils down to is that you have an unconscious blueprint for keeping love at bay. Therefore, you attract partners that will make your unconscious desire come true.

It is the reason you end up experiencing challenges in your relationships.

In other words, you attract your match; your partner is delivered based on what you broadcast to the universe as your unconscious desire, even though consciously you say it's not what you want.

Your partner merely brings the other side of the agreement to complete the equation!

You are likely to find that through your experiences you learnt that you should give up who you are in a relationship. You hold beliefs that:

• your needs,
• feelings and
• opinions don’t matter.

By contrast, you attract a partner who is likely to be:

• demanding,
• self-absorbed and
• needing you to care for him/her.

You can see that in this equation both partners are expected to be imbalanced regarding receiving and giving love in a relationship. It is here where the paradox of relationships lies!

There is good news; you can create the results you desire. If you are in a relationship and both willing, you will need to do the work necessary to develop a mutually satisfying relationship. If you are single, you can break the spell that has affected your past relationships and be ready to attract loving partners.

When you change, your brain reshapes according to new beliefs about yourself, and you will be on your way attracting someone who matches your inner world. In other words, the new version of you gets mirrored, and the universe cannot help it but match your new desire.

The power is in your hands when you understand the mirroring principle.

We are capable of changing, and “knowing thyself” is at the cornerstone of success in life.

Firstly, you want to thank your partner for helping you come face to face with what you need to change. Through the challenges you have had, it has also been an opportunity for you to look closely at yourself, so as to uncover the other half of the story, the part you play!

Secondly, learn about the beliefs that hold you back and challenge them and come up with more helpful ones that would support your relationship goals instead of sabotaging them.

Through this process, you can break away from feeling victimised and take full responsibility having created relationships that have been unsatisfying. Skewed beliefs drive the feelings of non-deserving. As we know, beliefs are not facts; they are changeable.

You can become the master of your destiny and achieve growth through self-leadership. Get the foundations of your relationships right. You owe it to yourself to do what is necessary to create a healthy and loving relationship.

There are useful psychological tools and techniques with demonstrated effectiveness, such as consciously challenging our long-held negative beliefs, formulating new and helpful ones, embracing negative emotions, changing unhelpful behaviours, and use of imagery or visualisation, which you can take advantage of and improve the quality of your thoughts.

To learn more about yourself, you can complete a psychological questionnaire which will help you identify pitfalls you may be unconsciously aware of and are part of your relationships blueprint. Allow a relationship to become a vehicle for growth and evolution, re-align yourself with who you are and achieve the relationship you desire.

If you’re ready to do things differently but don’t know where to begin, reach out to me, book an online coaching session, here is my calendar.