Case Study: The Outside Reflects the Inside

Meet Donna (not her real name/photo); she is a married female in her 30s. She stated that she was unhappy in her marriage, felt frustrated and stuck. The issue as she put it was that her husband did not like change. She previously decided to move interstate. They packed up and left, however; things did not work out because her husband could not tolerate the move.

In the past few months, she found it difficult to deal with her emotions; she was easily irritated by her husband’s behaviours, and she did not like his attitude towards life.

I tried to understand what she desired in life and what she believed was missing. She said she wanted to be happy.

She knew she could make changes in her life, but she had been clouded by what wasn’t working.

After some in-depth discussions and a begrudging admission, she realised that the things she wanted to change in her husband were necessary for their relationship to be balanced. She was a woman of action and was often stressed, were as her husband was a laid back person, a quality she admired, but up until this point, she could not see this. Their seemingly opposite qualities had become a source of discord, but she was able to shift her perception about her current situation after taking a closer look.

Once she made a shift on the inside, the weight was lifted.
We looked at other issues she struggled with, such as her desire to maintain a routine for attending the gym and to maintain desired weight. She learnt about her triggers, shifted her mindset and emotional reactions and was able to bring ease to this aspect of her life.

She was also able to reflect on her earlier life experiences and uncover beliefs she was not consciously aware of. The light bulb went on when she saw how she had modelled her past and she was now free to make conscious choices.
She completed 4 sessions. After the work we did together, she provided feedback that her reactions to her husband were now different. She easily let go, appreciated their differences and saw strengths; she managed her triggers and emotional responses in a better way. To her surprise, she no longer had the desire to move interstate, after all, she just needed to be happy in herself!